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Jul. 23rd, 2011

My life pattern with the ones that I like.

Sometimes I'm not enough of a slut. Sometimes I am too much of one.
And once when I trusted completely, didn't hold back or settle and had faith, gave everything of myself....

I'm finished with this being public. Why should I share what I think and feel with anyone?

Amy Winehouse is dead at 27. Not surprised. I feel old though.

Food today: a bowl of fiber one in the morning. a ham sandwich with 1T mayo and 1T mustard on wheat, too many chips. About a cup of jambalaya. 3 small plain potatoes. Lemonade.

I watched William S. Burroughs: A Man Within and Hubert Selby Jr: It'll Be Better Tomorrow. I liked them both but I would.
I did not make it through the movie last night. Even though I knew it was the last day to watch it, I couldn't get myself to concentrate on it, though I liked what I saw.

Freak out, horny= midnight snack. Half a plain bacon sandwich on wheat with some ham on the side. My last two shots of Famous Grouse.

Food today: ham and cheese on wheat with mustard. 100 cal snack pack. A double gulp of diet coke. A bowel of vegetable soup with 2 small plain potatoes. About 5 potato wedges from KFC.

I bought a zippo with a clover on it when I went to the tobacco store.

I noticed that every time I eat I feel sick afterwards. I want to be sick, I'd feel so much better, but instead I suffer with it for a few hours. And stupid me is always hungry so I eat again and start the process over. Having the fan on me helps a bit, but since my new headphones broke, I can't hear the things playing on my laptop with the fan on. Quiet helps a bit, and no light. Treat everything like a migrain and you'll be a bit better off. Although my head is a bit funky as well.

I watched The Possession of David O'Reilly. At first I thought I was going to be disappointed, it's a lot like a Brit version of Paranormal Activity (and I hated that movie). But there are glimpses of the evil things. And there is more activites than a door moving an inch a few times. But there is a bit of a story line to it. And I thought there was parts where the male friend saw something too, but then other dialog seemed to contridict it. If you liked Paranormal Activity than you'll like this I think. It was a cute waste of time activity for me, but not a great movie overall.

sex survry stole from panda_nom

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

How many people have you slept with?
over 50, stopped counting then

Do you think that's a high number for your age?
i dont care.

Is there any one of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?
not now.

Ever had a one night stand?
most of the time

Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
no preference.

What side of the bed do you sleep on?
looking at the bed, the right side. the left has a bunch of shit stored on it

Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?

Do you perform oral sex?
Not really. I think it's been like 5 guys. Prefer it with only one and won't be doing it with any other guys.

Do you like to receive oral sex?

Do you watch/read pornography?
not usually, and i prefer stories to videos

Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
oassive girls usually, and aggressive guys.

Would you choose love or money?
um money because if i'm going out with someone I can't afford that, and I hardly ever had sex with anyone I cared about. And love is not a good thing for me.

Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
of course.

Are you shy in bed?
only if I'm sober or I like them.

Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
never had sex I would consider to be 'romantic'

Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
on a hill at a school at night, or on the deck at a school

Have you ever been caught having sex?

Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
not a bar, but other places

Do you like it rough? (ie choking, biting, spanking)
Yeah, but not all the time.

Ever had sex in a car?

Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
of course. girls are fun.

Had sex in a movie theater?
not sex but been fingered there.

Had sex in a bathroom?

Have you ever made anyone bleed from biting or scratching them?

Have you ever had sex at work?

Bought something from an adult store?
yes, worked in one

Do you own any sex toys?
well yes, but they end up making me cry before getting off if i even get that far.

Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?

Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
no. i usually dont even carae if i know their name.

Have you ever thought about someone other than who you're having sex with?

Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?

What's your favorite sexual position?
doggy style of course

Have you ever had unprotected sex? With how many people?
yes but we were both safe about it

Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?

Ever had sex with more than one person in a night?

Have you ever been cheated on?

Have you ever cheated on someone else?
one person said so and i disagree. so i say no.

Are you proud of your sex life?

When was the last time you had sex?
last november.

Lost a story

My main story. I know I had it since Christmas because I was going to type it up but ended up working on it some more in long hand. I can't even find my notes for the story. I took it out of the folder because I had an idea to work on it in public, but I didn't end up taking it out. I've looked everywhere.

I give up. I can't find it. This is supposed to be the important thing to me that I complete, and my distraction of all the other shit wrong in my life, and I even manage to fuck this up.



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